I know from personal experience that, oftentimes, the hardest thing about writing is figuring out what you’re going to write about. Which is precisely why, after two hours of staring at a blank screen, I’ve decided to help myself by helping you. Since I don’t have anything to write about, I thought it would be cool to give you something to write about. But you ask, “Stan, if you’re going to give us stuff to write about, why don’t you just write about it instead?” That’s very intuitive on your part. Congratulate yourself if you were asking that question. I do have an answer though.
The reason I’m not going to write about the subjects below is that I am trying to spread my genius, influence and good will throughout the Pages of Hub. I’ll keep on writing for sure, but in the meantime I’m spreading the intellectual wealth by publishing awesome article ideas to hundreds of Hubbers, who yes, may know how to write, but are struggling to come up with stellar subject matter like mine, i.e. I Just Stepped in Some Dog Crap. Oftentimes these Hubbers will give up and reluctantly publish a recipe, or photos of hawt (thanks Shadesbreath) Indian actresses, or… whatever comes out of Wayne Brown’s head. These are all decent ideas, but only if you don’t have something much better. (Sorry Wayne – just kidding.)
So, what I’m doing today is an incredible service to the HubPages Community and will assure that I acquire that most noble of titles - Hubpages Elite - a life-long goal. This hub will also cause my score to go to 100 for the first time, and probably add several hundred fans, if not several thousand.
New Contest Announcement
Without HubPages’ permission, I’ve decided to start my own contest here. As it says above, I have a new contest announcement. Here it is: We’re going to have a new contest. All you have to do is write a hub about one or more of the following subjects. Post it on your page, and notify me. I will carefully judge each entry. The winner will get a coupon for a Blizzard and a small order of French fries at Dairy Queen, or if you don’t have a Dairy Queen nearby, I will send you three dollars in cold, hard American currency to spend however you please. Just try not to spend it all in one place.
Here are my incredible Hub ideas in no particular order. Use them freely, and don’t forget to get back to me after your post one. May the best Hubber win.
1. How to Train an Elephant in One Easy Step
2. The Main Cause of the Recession: Stolen Condiment Packets
3. Hair in a Can: Other Uses
4. Play the Guitar with Your Feet
5. I’m Scared of My Kitchen Appliances
6. Weird Things My Refrigerator Has Said
7. The 100% Candy Diet – Flab to Fab in a Month
8. Raising Alligators For Fun and Profit
9. Be Your Own Dentist
10. Why Stan Fletcher is My Favorite Hubber
11. How to Make Women Happy in 4,758 Easy Steps
12. Cure Acne with a Cheese Grater
13. Dead Kittens – A Poem
14. Is Alex Trebek Smarter Than Einstein?
15. Tips for Removing Your Underwear From Your Crack in Public
16. Great Punch Recipes That Use Nyquil
17. Do-It-Yourself Surgery: Potential Problems
18. Using Doritos as Projectile Weapons
19. How to Cut the Cheese – The Fine Art of Slicing Cheese Into Decorative Shapes
20. Was the Lone Ranger Gay?
Although there’s no time limit on submitting your entries, get them done as fast as you can. I’m sure that your head is practically ringing with ideas that were generated from the above titles. Pick one or two of them and get to work. If you are able to combine two or more of these ideas into one post, you will receive extra credit. For example, “Be Your Own Dentist” and “Great Punch Recipes That Use Nyquil” have some obvious tie-ins. I wouldn’t dare pull one of my own teeth without a healthy serving of Nyquil punch.
Good luck to you all. I’m anxiously awaiting your entries.
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